i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
