In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm way too hungover for life right now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
