Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
