planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
