Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
well you can't waste a boner
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
