I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
