Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize