Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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