a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
