You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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