Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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