Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
