1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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