He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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