I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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