turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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