I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
