my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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