Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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