last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize