Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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