what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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