# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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