i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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