i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
