remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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