We're facebook friends in real life
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
