she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
