Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i jhust puked up my retainher.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
