ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
