Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
