I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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