remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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