UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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