im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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