I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
