Can i not drive my cunt home
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
