Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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