She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
