I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
