Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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