i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
