I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
