Duck Duck Cougar?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
