Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
