you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
