Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
