The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My vagina is officially offended.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
