i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
