its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
