and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize