grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
