peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
