I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize