The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
