Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
