Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
