the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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