There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
