you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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