Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
