can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
