I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
